I want to be in love with you easily but it is so hard be in love with you.

I'm scared i'm not worth to be with you or even love you. I may not be the one you are looking for but i'm trying to be the one you are looking for. However, I began to realize i am becoming someone i'm not and i hate that. I want you to love me for who i am but you don't even know that i love you. I think you don't even know my name.

This insecurity of not being able to get you kept me away from loving you. I try my best to think of the worst scenarios like imagining you finding a women which is so much more better and worthy than myself. I even imagine you getting married to a women who will treat you right and bring you happiness till the end of your life.

Yes, i'm not that type of girl. I'm the type of girl who is full of insecurity, too outgoing and wild. The type of girl that does not suit to be beside of you. If you can't accept me for who i am then that just mean you don't love me unlike how i love you. I don't mind having one sided love with you because right now i'm already having a one-sided love with you. I bet right now you don't even know how i always think of you before i go to sleep and wherever i am. Even when i pass by your job place, i wish the best for you. I pray for your health and happiness.

 That is all i can do. I will let Allah s.w.t decided on our destiny whether you will be with me till the end or not. Ameen!

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