Sadness, pain, grief, regret, frustration and jealousy. Everything in just one go. I want to run away but the runaway doesn't allow me to do that. It just told me that i can never run away from my problems but why does problems just keep surfacing? I keep having this selfish desire of standing on the edge of the cliff and jump down. I don't know what i should do? Finally i will admit that i am having my mental breakdown or in other term depression.

Now that writing this post from far away place, i get to calm my mind. Everything feels like a dream. I am standing alone smiling wide in the place called paradise. I want to have this good feelings forever but sunny days won't last forever. There will always be cold days and rainy days. Soon i will be back to the reality where everything is harsh, cruel, painful and selfish. Yes, that is society. To survive you have to put a strong front or you will be living a life like a toy.


To my friends, i am sorry for avoiding you guys but this selfish greed of mine can't be stop. Right now i want to search myself and gather my strong self back. Now that i am alone i hate hearing the sound of clock goes "tick tock" because it keep telling me that i can't stay here forever. I will be back soon to you guys. But will you wait for me? Will you accept my return? Forgive me.

To the guy i use to love, i am happy right now. I may not completely forget you because of the memories. However, i am thankful that we are not together. I am glad i didn't have you. I have found someone so much better than you and i receive more love, care and concern than what you had give me. I hope you have a blissful life ahead.

◀ ▶